Amend the Agreement

Young couple quarelling in the office of therapist

Over the weekend, Jessica agreed that she would call the contractor on Monday. When Tony asked about it on Tuesday, he was upset that she didn’t make the call. They didn’t talk for a few days.

When the couple brought this up at their next couples counseling session, Jessica shared that higher priorities arose that day. Tony was irritated that not making the call was potentially going to impact the timing of their project. Tony said, “I wish you told me since I would have made the call.”

This is a classic problem for couples—someone saying they will do something, but for whatever reason, not getting to it. The problem isn’t Jessica’s not making the call, but not sharing this with Tony. Tony could have checked in with her as well on Monday. 

Agreements can be amended but need to be discussed. A conversation on Monday could have prevented a few days of silence.